Too early for bed

Well, since it is apparently physically impossible for me to go to sleep before ten (no matter how early I got up), I guess ill bitch for a few. I am by no means hilarious. I say a few things that elicit chuckles every now and then, but I’m no comedian. Most of the garble that falls out of my mouth is an awkward spew of verbal suicide. Maybe I try too hard, who the hell knows. All I know is that I am appreciative to have found someone on the internet who hilariously hates on the same shit I do, and has been able to put that into some words I can relate to. WWW.bitchesgottaeat.blogspot.com. fantastic.

With that being said, I am super annoyed lately with people who are so self-centered that they literally cannot wait for you to finish a damn sentence before they feel the need to hear their voice drone on unapprovingly at you with the opinion or advice you didn’t ask for. Because of course, they’re a genius and why wouldn’t you want their advice?

Bitch, shut up. Seriously. And I’m not even worried about anyone thinking it’s them, because A) that person is too self absorbed to even read anything I post and B) too self involved to even think I would think this of them even if they DID read it. (Which they won’t). God damn woman, does every conversation have to be about you? I can’t even get a word in edgewise without you interrupting me with one of your stories to “one up” me. Friends are not supposed to one up each other. Not girlfriends anyway. Unless its like “so this hott guy hit on me at the bar last weekend…” and you say “well I bet he wasn’t as hott as the guy who hit on ME at the supermarket…” or whatever.

(Who says supermarket anymore anyway? Geez.)

But its NOT like that! I can’t even explain it. Plus, you’re married and boring and shit. I don’t care to hear how you went home to your husband playing Xbox and how you’re so lonely blah blah. Maybe if you got out of your 2x2 house and did something with some friends without “seeing what your husband” is doing first, then you wouldn’t be So miserable and make everyone else feel miserable by having to listen to you! I also shouldn’t have to be a buffer, because no one can stand you long enough to hang out with you one on one.

Not everything is about you honey, and we’re gunna do what we want for freaking once. Deal with it.

Also, I’m gunna zumba the shit out of my wii so I can be not such a fatass in Mexico at Christmas. Laugh all you want but that shit is fun. And I’ve seen it work. And its cheaper than dancing at the bars, because I have to have at least two beers down before ill even dance in public.

Anyways, goodnight. And don’t worry, this post wasn’t about you.